Equanimity and building resilience
full moon at the apple farm, Philo, California. summer 2024
Some people think it's best to avoid topics such as war and politics… how are we supposed to mend our communities and larger societies if we are not encouraged to build diplomatic community dialogues around complex issues like the war economy or the corporate capture of governments worldwide and institutions like the United Nations?
At the beginning of the summer, I noticed that my emotional capacity was at a very low point. I found myself easily aggravated by everything.
The consequences of war will be felt for generations to come, and I feel as though I am living in a world like The Lord of the Rings or Star Wars, where evil seems to control the world with no moral compass or master but money and power.
At Spirit Weavers I sat down in a circle with other women in a workshop named Surthriving by Ali McWeeny, an incredible breathworker with the most fascinating story, this class is all about the vagus nerve and literally move from surviving to thriving. Ali lost her leg on a boat accident and moved on to embodying the most beautiful woman and motherhood. I posed a question in to the group: How can I increase my resilience? How can I prepare myself to face the most daunting of challenges even death.
I explained how I’ve noticed that the women around me have so much anguish, resignation, exasperation, and anxiety masked in compulsive habits, even joy. I’ve noticed that I’ve been a sponge for it and have absorbed this unwellness and made it my own.
The Earth needs humanity to come together and rise from samsara. We need to rise together as humanity because we need earth. Our existence is intrinsically woven into this container —— just like bees and plants.
I live in a bubble. I do. I am possibly in the top 1% —- my privilege and comfort is beyond….. and I am not talking about money or material possessions. Money doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.
I feel deeply, and sometimes it’s as if I can feel and hear the Earth and the children of Earth cry for mercy, harsh and bitter.
Who am I? Who are we if not peacemakers?
It feels like we, as a collective and I as an individual, are going through an amalgamation of unprecedented historical events. Sometimes, it feels like I want to hide under a rock, but I also want to be part of it—to be awake for it. Perhaps at this moment, we cannot bring to justice the criminals who rule our world, but it will happen because history has taught us that you can’t outrun justice.
All I want is nourishing dialogues of hope, change, and transformation. Yet, I must give space and honor the fact that we are in the trenches, and people / earth is/are being destroyed. It is not grief that we feel but anger.
Also at Spirit Weavers, I joined a dialogue on climate distress, which focused on talking about our feelings rather than proposing solutions. The closing meditation was about envisioning a regenerative Earth and body.
Currently, I am balancing my masculine need to become seriously involved in politics and the world around me with my feminine need to be protected in nature —— I have chosen the latter.
I have been thinking a lot about water lately, and fire too, living in Northern California. I reflect on my beloved Mexico and the infinite ways a land can be regenerated and transformed, such as through rain gardens, natural ponds, and inviting water to stay.
Knowing that there is kindred spirits out there, gentle, sensitive, visionaries, makes me feel at peace with what is + Patric and I have been living our best lives, summer is yet no over.
Below are many moments through these past two months of intense abundance and beautiful things in every corner. not winding down just yet…
as we prepare to live in Sri Lanka for two months in late November, we still have another two months of intense work at the farm.
+ attaching two songs I love that keep me going that wanted to share.
Let me know what you think,
in gratitude
eka tamara maria
